Planning Ahead: Talking with a Director About Funeral Plans

When someone you care about has experienced the loss of a loved one, you may be anxious and hurting yourself. It's only natural to want to send a gift to the funeral home to show that you care and want to provide support during this difficult time. However, sending a gift to a funeral home isn't always so straightforward and simple. Consider these factors before ordering that gift.

Requests are Often Made in the Obituary

Be sure to read the obituary of the deceased person before sending a gift to a funeral home. You may also want to look online at social media pages that may be posting tributes to the deceased. Posts about the funeral and any special requests are often linked on the person's social media pages. These special requests are often for monetary donations that will benefit a specific charity or the person's children or other family members who may be left in a bad financial position with this loss. Sometimes funds are raised to cover funeral expenses as well.

Flowers Aren't Always Appropriate

Although some people assume that flowers would be an appropriate gift for any funeral, not every service welcomes them. For example, flowers are not a part of most Jewish funeral services, so avoid sending them to the funeral home unless you know the person's religion.

The Timing of Gift Delivery Has to Be Well-Coordinated

Timing very much matters when you are sending a gift to a funeral. You don't want to choose a florist that has a three-day delivery time frame if you only have a day or two before the funeral. Be sure that the gift can be delivered in a timely matter. You also want to make sure that the delivery service will bring the gift directly to the funeral home and that gifts are accepted prior to the funeral.

Including a Personal Note is an Important Touch

Simply sending flowers or a plant to a funeral home is really not enough to comfort someone who is bereft. Be sure that you also include a note with any gift that you send. Personalize it with care, providing specific words that pertain to the recipient's grief and unique relationship with the person who has passed away.

Finally, keep in mind that you should simply ask your bereft loved one about a gift you're considering if you're not certain that it will be well-received. If you know the person is struggling financially or emotionally, it may be more helpful for you to offer something more direct. Open up the dialogue by expressing your desire to help and support through giving during this time, and your loved one will likely be receptive to hearing you out and helping guide your gift choices.